HARDCORE PAWN Episodes 18-20, the Ashley Arc: I Won't Get Scammed Again (No, No!), Flush This! and the Detroit (Computer) Breakdown

Does American Jewelry and Loan just run better when Ashley's in charge?

Well, there are at least two people – both named Gold – who might dispute that suggestion. Vehemently.

But this three-episode story arc – which ended last week (9/10) just short of Ashley and Seth holding hands and singing "Kumbaya" – surely reminded us that business at the pawn shop is never dull when she's running the show!

These three episodes are a fine example of Hardcore Pawn at its best: a big overarching storyline (in this case, Ashley being chosen by a recuperating Les to run the store after beating Seth in a one-day management competition in Episode 17, while a seething Seth remains on Dad-imposed probation),  with intriguing little subplots to distinguish each individual half-hour.

Ooh, She's Enjoying This. (Mark Hill/Turner)

In Episode 18, for example, it was the two sincere-looking teenage boys who tried to convince the Golds they were approached by a crooked AJ&L employee who offered to take their laptops in pawn and return them out the back door after they received their cash, thus ripping off the store royally.

Since the family still stings from the knowledge that their former head of security stole from them at the end of last season and were still dealing with the question of trust in Episode 1, Les wants to know if there's any truth to the teens' allegations. Seth, eager to remind Dad that the operation ran smoothly when he was in charge, is certain the new people and policies he put in place would prevent such crimes from ever occurring again. And Ashley, equally motivated to prove she can handle her business as manager, suggests the one guaranteed, but time-consuming, approach to find out for certain: take an employee, go into the back warehouse and account for every computer taken in over the past 24 hours.

Seth scoffs at her idea as a waste of time and manpower, but Les still feels residual pain that has nothing to do with his surgery. "Let me tell you something," he intones. "We've been scammed before, and I will not be scammed again, period. Go do it, Ash."

Her meticulous inventory check proved the boys' tale to be a hoax, but meanwhile Seth is bristling under the yoke of reporting to Ashley. His insubordination is causing her to sound like a third-grade teacher. "Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!" she yells at his back. "And don't talk under your breath!"

Their prickly relationship isn't helped by Ashley feeling the need to interject herself into Seth's transactions. She jumped into the face of one wide-eyed woman who was trying to get money for a broken TV.

"I don't need your help on this one, thank you MOM," Seth sneers. but Ashley's influence must have had some effect: the woman ended up bouncing her own set off the parking lot after being escorted outside, dragging it away by its power cord.

The merchandise being offered by customers – from a classic DeLorean sports car with an oddly pungent aroma to handmade bicycles that shoot flames, to a caged, dead pigeon purported to have once belonged to Mike Tyson – were quirky and interest-grabbing, though almost all were rejected for purchase. And the customers were sufficiently crazed and belligerent, but not completely obnoxious or over-the-top outrageous; you know, functionally insane.

Two clear-cut favorites emerge in that regard. There's the unctuous, snappy-talking New Jersey transplant in Episode 18 who tries to buy a sectional sofa (already bargain priced below $400) for the $200 cash in his pocket, justifying his low-ball offer by claiming the sofa has its own oddly pungent aroma.

An indignant Les says he once owned that furniture and gave it to Ashley for a time. "She your daughter?" he cracks. "Then she must be nasty, too." Insult a man's only daughter? Jersey Joe receives an up-close and personal lesson at how jerks are treated "the Detroit way:" big Byron, the security chief/bouncer, serves as instructor.

Then there's the initially pleasant woman in Episode 19 who approaches Seth to purchase a wristwatch but can't seem to stop texting (or "texing," as she calls it) long enough to maintain human contact with Seth, who's right in front of her. (An increasingly common malady in contemporary society, regrettably.) After the third text, when Seth asks if everything is all right, the woman erupts in anger over his invasion of her privacy. Once Byron "bodies" her to the door, the texting tornado rips her wig off and swings it above her head like a lariat while kicking her flip-flops toward the door. "When she got outside, she was like a damn Transformer," Byron marvels.

By the end of Episode 19, appropriately dubbed "Seth Snaps," he has had it with Ashley's perceived power trip up to here. Witnessing what he considers an especially egregious deal she negotiates, Seth grabs a sledgehammer and attacks – not Ashley (Whew!), but the piece she just purchased. (Rather than come out and identify what the item was, let's just say Seth took maniacal pleasure in knocking off her throne.) He then jumped in his car and peeled and squealed out of the parking lot.

Typically, only a sibling or a spouse can make anyone that nutso.

(And did you happen to notice how the brand and model of Seth's car was blurred out in Episode 19's final scene? NOBODY's getting product placement on this series for free!)

In Episode 20, "Computer Crash," Seth concedes, "I was so pissed off at Ashley, I wasn't even going to come in today." However, when the store's computer system collapses, leaving a long line of pissed off customers angrily waving pawn tickets, Seth, AJ&L's resident PC professional, swallows his pride and returns to get the store back online.

That matters little to the show's primary antagonist, a giant dude dressed in pumpkin orange who demands to get his ring back right now despite the shop's computer woes. "Here's my ring, right here," he says, pointing through the display case. "You can see the inscription: '14K gold.'"

Yes, that must be your ring.

This episode also gave us one of the more memorable sendoff lines of Hardcore Pawn's entire run. It happened at the top of the show, as a customer who swears he has allergies keeps playing with his nose while shopping for a watch. A disgusted Ashley is willing to practically give him the timepiece just to keep him from touching it with his hands. He refuses Ashley's price as well as her offer to use hand sanitizer and is eventually dismissed, prompting Ashley to say:

"Hasta la vista, Snot Boy."

When order and computers are restored, Les turns paternal. "Now you see what happens when you guys work together?" he asks. "That's how I expect you guys to work together. No more fighting!"

Did you laugh out loud, too? Yeah, like that's going to happen!

"Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya...."

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I really liked the woman who broke her own TV and dragged it through the parking lot, the cocky Jersey Boy and the wig-twirling texter as candidates to break through into our list of the Top 5 Hardcore Pawn customer ejections of the season. After all, it's almost impossible to believe that an idiot consumer from Episode One still holds the No. 1 slot after all these weeks.

But the question must be asked: Are any of these three contenders better (or worse) than the incumbent currently holding down the No. 5 position?

Honestly, no.

So the Top 5 brain-dead bounceouts remain unchanged. And, in case you've forgotten, they are:


5. Mister "running naked guy" from Episode Ten who tried to blame security chief Byron for the floor lamp he knocked over in plain sight. After Byron responded to his accusation by showing him the door, he vented his outrage by stripping off his clothes and dashing au naturel around the store's parking lot yelling, "I make you horny bitches." A tough act to follow – as if anyone would want to.

4. The sentimental fool from Episode One who tried to pawn one of his late grandmother's rings in the same breath he mourned her recent death. His verbal and physical assault on Ashley sparked Les's rage, because NOBODY insults his daughter in his store. (This incident trumps Jersey Boy's insult because the confrontation brought Ashley to tears.)

3. "DogMan," the tall computer genius with anger management issues in Episode Two who orders Les to retrieve the hard drive from his pawned PC and calls everybody "Dog." "Who let the dog out?" asked Les, who unleashed his first "MF" of the season. "Byron let the dog out!"

 

2. The belligerent, bare-butt bonehead from Episode Seven who pulled items off the shelves as Les looked on, then tried to sell Les's own merchandise back to him. When his scam was revealed, the ballsy burglar was dragged kicking to the exit – and his balls were about the only thing we didn't see as his jeans dropped to his ankles. "Time for your ass to be thrown out," Les ordered. "And what an ass that was."

And the loser and still champion among the Dimmest Lights on the Marquee customers...

The boy genius from Episode One who came in looking to buy a portable generator and showed his intelligence by asking, "It doesn't run on electricity, does it?" When he demanded to bring the generator to his home to test it out and was summarily refused, he got the Byron Bounce and ended up humping one of the tall front-door pylons on his way to the parking lot.

We could say more about him, but we don't want to "pylon." Get it?

HARDCORE PAWN Episode 17: R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find Out What It Means to Me!

"In the heart of Detroit's 8 Mile lies the city's biggest and baddest pawn shop...."

I am Michiganian by birth, Detroiter by heart. I spent more than 30 years in the Automotive Capital of Earth, became a man and a professional there, so shows that are set in Detroit or attempt to capture a slice of life in the Motor City are especially dear to me.

Hardcore Pawn is an amazingly successful, largely unsung Detroit TV wonder. Shot inside the now-iconic American Jewelry and Loan on Eight Mile Road, Hardcore Pawn is truTV's most consistently successful series: its Season Seven premiere this year drew the cable channel's largest audience ever in the coveted demo of adults 18-49. It's basic cable's No. 1 unscripted program in its 9 p.m. (EST) Tuesday time slot, spawned a spinoff series in Hardcore Pawn: Chicago and, if it weren't for the unbelievably whacked-out string of belligerent, ignorant, foulmouthed customers it spotlights, undoubtedly would be a continuing source of pride for Detroiters.

Moreover, I have gotten to know series stars Les and Seth Gold and Ashley Gold Broad personally. I've written several stories on the family-owned business, including this feature for HOUR Detroit magazine. I've even patronized the place: the wristwatch I wear every day was purchased at American Jewelry and Loan. So for its lucky seventh season, I've selected Hardcore Pawn to review in Big Glowing Box on a weekly basis. Here's a recap of Episode 17, aired August 20. But first:

What do you think, Hardcore fans? Was Les right in giving Seth only one day to run the store in Episode 16 before stripping him of his management duties and resuming control of the store? Or did he sense that Seth's new system was dragging the business down so quickly that he had to step in?

Tweet your opinion and thoughts @BigGlowingBox; we'll print some of the best comments in the next update.

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Dave Chappelle used to have a recurring segment on his sketch comedy series called "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong." That description leaped to mind while watching the last five minutes of Episode 17, "Back in Action."

Even though he's still recovering from surgery and moving at half-speed, Les was so perturbed by the longer lines and (even more) irate (than usual) customers caused by Seth's new redemption policy that he reversed his decision to let Seth run American Jewelry and Loan on a temporary basis at the end of Episode 16 and reclaimed control of the store.

Now, Seth had every reason to be cheesed off that his dad gave him all of one day to implement his procedures before pulling the plug. And it's human nature to let your anger fester and want to lash out when your wings have been clipped. But Seth's response at the end of this half-hour left me with my mouth open and my own outrage rising in disbelief.

It's standard operating procedure on Hardcore Pawn that everybody yells. Les yells at Seth and Ashley. Seth and Ashley scream at each other. All three bellow simultaneously. Customers holler at store personnel, and they shout right back. All decibels considered, this may be the loudest show on TV. But Seth's rant at Les this time was...different.

Seth puts Seth and Ashley on probation. They're thrilled. (Turner/Mark Hill)

At the start of the episode, Les calls all the employees together and unleashes a scathing State of the Store address. "In 32 years of owning this store, it's never been so f----d up," he declares. (Really, Les? Not even in, like, Year Two?) "Everything is down! Retail is down, wholesale is down, loans are down, redeems are down! From now on, I'm in charge, and everybody's ass is on the line! Everyone!"

Without saying so specifically, it sounds like Les places the blame for AJ&L's recent downturn on his being out of the store and Seth's leadership skills. "Maybe if he had given me an opportunity to prove myself, since numbers were down in the past month, we wouldn't be in this mess," Seth retorts.

To prove he's serious, Les places Ashley and Seth on probation. Show me what you can do, that you two can handle the store, and we'll see where we go from here.

One self-proclaimed "collector of antiquities" brings in a 350 million-year-old dinosaur egg, still mostly intact. (Or so he claimed.) Two brothers arrive with 50 antique lighters from the 1930s-1970s, including one as big as your head. But none of those items were as remarkable as Seth's outburst.

Seth believes that Les has bum-rushed all his deals since he resumed power. For example, while Seth haggles with the brothers over a package price for the lighter collection, Les steps in, sets a bottom-line price and nixes the deal within two minutes. "Seth needs to understand, in order to make money you have to be efficient," he explains. "Either close the deal, or move on."

Predictably, Seth bristles at his father's intrusion. "If you go out and handle every situation, how am I supposed to learn?" he asks.

"Watch me," Les replies. Huh? Somebody's blood is on full boil now.

Later, Les is presented with an obviously attractive opportunity: a local football fanatic is offering a rare lithograph of legendary pro quarterbacks John Elway and Brett Favre by celebrated sports artist Danny Day, signed by both men, and miniature chrome helmets of all 32 NFL teams. Les knows he has something special here, but Seth is the resident sports memorabilia expert. So he turns to his son and asks for assistance.

Here it comes.

"Why do you need my help?" Seth snaps. "Apparently you know everything about the store. Apparently you know everything about everything! Why don't you handle it yourself?"

And that, my friends, is over...the...line.

In all my years faithfully watching Hardcore Pawn, I cannot recall such blatant insubordination by either Seth or Ashley toward their father. They disagree, sometimes vehemently, but they have never taken it to the level of disrespect or insolence. Until now.

I have often accused the Disney Channel of being an agent of Satan in the way it influences children to treat their parents. In almost every series on Mickey Media, the kids are wise and worldly little people who take their hopelessly brainless parents by the hand and solve the household's Crisis of the Week. And in last scene, Mom and Dad thank them for taking charge! If kids watch such idiocy every day for years on end, how do you think they believe it's acceptable to talk to their own parents?

As I was reminded recently when Seth made a personal appearance at a pawn shop in central Illinois (which I wrote about in the BGB recap of Episode 15), the Golds have more than a million fans of all ages, including impressionable children.What cues might young kids get for addressing their dad from watching how Seth lashes out at his father's authority?

Even though Seth admitted later that "maybe I did take it a little too far," by then the damage had been done. His confessional was comparable to the old newspaper custom of printing the retraction on Page 23Z.

The scene was unacceptable. And disappointing.

This episode also was significant for another moment I have never seen on Hardcore Pawn before: Ashley stepping out from behind the pay window and getting in the face of a screaming woman (in a really ill-fitting orange baseball cap...note to all women: men can wear their caps backwards, but it just makes you look ignorant) who demanded a big payout for her fake chain. Ash actually wagged her finger in the ill-mannered customer's face, rather than the other way around!

But here's the payoff: After taking the woman's best verbal shots, Ashley suggests the woman consider pawning her expensive watch instead. She thinks it over, agrees, then actually THANKS Ashley, in a calm and grateful voice, for her assistance. "You've been a great help, and I'll come back again," she says.

What? This is almost always the kind of encounter that ends with massive security guard Byron bouncing the belligerent babe out the door. Les observed the way his daughter diffused the potentially violent situation, and congratulated her. (Seth, of course, looked on ruefully.) And may I add here that I'm beginning to have a real problem with Seth and Ashley (mostly Seth) talking loud and threatening smack at customers, knowing they have Byron to finish what they start. Despite his age and his need to temporarily use a cane, Les is not afraid to back up his words with action.

Due largely to the way Ashley handled her ear-splitting patron, Les takes her off probation at show's end. Seth, however, remains under house scrutiny. "I'm very disappointed," says Les. "You're still on probation until I feel you are able to join this team. Got it?"

"Got it," Seth replies, then adds something interesting. "I own it."

And he should. Remember, kids, your parents brought you into this world. And they can take you out, too!

HARDCORE PAWN, Episode 16: System Failure, or Don't Hand Me That Line

In years to come, Hardcore Pawn aficionados and historians (do such people exist?) may well refer to this as the show's most regal episode: It's not every day you can see a Prince (impersonator) and a King (Tut sarcophagus) in the same 23 minutes.

But "Seth in Charge," this chapter of the continuing drama that is Detroit's American Jewelry and Loan, really revolves around Seth being chosen to run the store (again) while Les continues to recuperate from his hernia operation. Finally able to implement some modern store procedures without his dad's stifling Old School oversight, he establishes a new system he believes will improve the customer experience. Instead of having to stand in two lines before receiving their money, people now can simply walk up to Seth, armed with a printer and a cash box, and turn their pawn tickets into speedy green.

(Not sure about the wisdom of keeping a cash box out in the open, especially in Detroit and particularly given the wackos who routinely wander through AJ&L – there is a reason the money is usually protected behind double-thick windows, after all – but youth must be served.)

These smiles will not last through the entire episode. (Mark Hill/Turner)

Ashley, to the surprise of absolutely no one, thinks the plan is "dumb and irresponsible," "beyond ridiculous," and that her baby brother is making changes for no other reason than because he can. (The last time he made a major operational change at the store, she is fond of noting, most of the employees walked out in protest.) Les, still operating gingerly on his cane, is willing to hold his tongue – as long as he can – and allow Seth to assume the authority he has been given and run with it, asking Ashley to keep quiet and support her brother in the interim.

Well, here's a surprise: The new system quickly becomes a gigantic snafu, with lines snaking nearly out the door and hour-plus waits for service. "Growing pains," Seth declares it, but the furious pawnshop customers with steam coming out of their ears aren't quite so understanding. One, a blonde long-haired hippie freak with a portable TV in hand, storms Ashley's "jewelry window" and demands she take his set and give him something in return. So she does: She comes out from behind her window, takes the TV, hands it back to the barbarian and gives him security guard Byron, who quickly gives him the gate.

As the situation slowly sorts itself out, Seth and Bobby J are approached by a man in a baby blue suit with long flowing tails, whose conversation is punctuated by loud birdlike whoops. "Do you know who I am?" he asks in a husky voice.

Matter of fact, I think I do. Unless I miss my guess – or more than one of these fellows is running loose on the streets of Detroit – I believe this gent might be Prince St. Paul (Paul Jack William Hall), the Detroit-based Prince lookalike whom my friend Curtrise Garner wrote about so splendidly earlier this year in the Detroit Metro Times. While he may have to work on his material ("Look at this service I'm getting: I can see why doves cry"), he certainly cut a dynamic, showstopping figure in his brief retail excursion.

He said he came to pawn a diamond earring in order to get his little red Corvette repaired, but what he learned got him delirious: the rock was schlock. "That may be a real earring, but that's not a real diamond," Seth announced. ""Imitation Prince, imitation earring," chimed Bobby J.

Ah, well. One more full split on the floor in his see-through blue pants, and Prince dances away a pauper. (Read more about him here.)

Moments later, the pawn becomes a king. A man who says his entire home is decorated in an ancient Egyptian motif arrives with a genuine knockoff King Tut sarcophagus. "Where'd you get it? China?" Seth asks, and the seller sheepishly agrees that's possible.

Ashley is sharpening her claws waiting to see how Seth handles this oddball offering, but for one of the very few times in Hardcore Pawn history brother and sister see eye to eye. The Tut dragger wants $300; Seth offers $75. They agree to disagree, and the King has left the building.

Also worthy of note are the fellow who wanted to sell a beaming yellow suspension sand buggy that looked like a set of monkey bars on wheels, and the mouthy, self-proclaimed "pink b---h" who goes off when she can't retrieve her pink mink from the racks – even though her claim ticket clearly states her fur is brown.

"I ain't never comin' back to y'all!" she shouts once Byron has shown her the spacious parking area.

"See you tomorrow," Les shouts back.

However, it's an item as commonplace as a circular saw that ultimately tears it for Les. When a reedy, desperate man wants $200 for his saw only to be offered $20 in return (supply and demand, you know), he gets into everybody's face – including Les's. He may still be recovering, but Les doesn't take anybody calling him "old man" lying down. He sheds his cane, then rips into the insulting sawman himself. "He made me so angry, I don't even feel the pain any more," Les steams.

Family huddle. Les declares that Seth's new system is Public Enemy No. 1 for triggering the in-store chaos. "So here's the deal," he says. "I'M IN CHARGE! Until you can prove to me that you have the ability to run the store without me, it's gonna be my system. Period!"

Les isn't convinced either of his offspring can run American Jewelry and Loan in his absence, but as is frequently the case, Seth's reign is barely a drizzle. "He hasn't even given me a day to prove myself," Seth laments. "That's so typical of my dad."

But hey, in the middle of his diatribe Les did yell at Ashley to "stop kissing my ass." Little victories. Take 'em where you can get 'em.

'Low Winter Sun,' EPISODE TWO: The Bodies Electric

Any new series, but especially an ensemble drama, has so much real estate to sell in its pilot episode. The first show has to introduce all the characters, explain their relationship to each other and to the plot, establish the overarching premise, tone and atmosphere of the show – oh, and if it could be a riveting tale that leaves room for the storyline to grow and enthralls viewers so they can't wait to tune in next week, that would be good, too.

Last week's premiere of Low Winter Sun didn't accomplish all those objectives as efficiently as it might have. But given those ambitions, there were two ways to look at the series opener: through Detroit eyes ("Gee, great to have a TV show shot in my town" "Happy to have new jobs created here" "Lord, hope they don't make our city look too bad") and everybody else's ("Geez, what a grim and post-apocalyptic city Detroit is" "Look at all those burned-out buildings" "THIS is the show that's going to replace Breaking Bad?"). 

If only he were better looking. (Credit Frank Ockenfels3/AMC)

That is, if you looked at it at all. Of the record-setting, almost six million people who clicked to AMC to see the first of Breaking Bad's historic final eight episodes, the bad news is that nearly four million of them clicked away without giving Low Winter Sun, which followed it, as much as a blink – even resisting the network's shrewd ploy to withhold scenes from Breaking Bad's second episode until the first commercial break in LWS. (Longtime AMC viewers know the previews of their upcoming shows generally are disconnected scenes that tell them nothing about the episode itself, so they knew they wouldn't be missing much.)

Let it be remembered, however, that the 2008 debut of Breaking Bad, when Walt was still a wimpy, cancer-ridden chem teacher years before he became a vicious drug overlord, wasn't immediately hailed as a classic-in-waiting either. As is the case with practically every TV series, the key for LWS will be how much patience AMC shows to let it find and grow its audience within its 10-episode commitment, and how disappointed the network will be if it feels Sun is squandering viewers in weeks to come from its blockbuster lead-in.

As to Episode Two, "The Goat Rodeo," airing Sunday (Aug. 18), for the second week in a row the hour opens with a long, lingering closeup of Det. Frank Agnew's face. If executive producer Chris Mundy (who also wrote the episode) intends to keep using this device, let's hope he and director Ernest Dickerson at least vary the faces from time to time. Athena Karkanis (Det. Dani Khalil) would be a lovely change of pace. I mean, Mark Strong (Agnew) has an interesting, rugged mug, but no one is likely to mistake him for Bradley Cooper. He could be scaring off prospective viewers by himself.

However, as ace Detroit homicide detective Agnew, he has bigger problems to face. He and fellow detective Joe Geddes (Lennie James) have succeeded in killing Geddes' boozy, bloated partner, Brendan McCann, and making appear to be a suicide, only to discover a nasty, unanticipated detail once McCann's Cadillac is fished out of the Detroit River: an even more bloated body hidden in the trunk, devoid of a few minor details like his head, hands and feet. (But not the dismembered body of Frank's beloved Katia, the possibility suggested by Geddes that put murder in Frank's mind in the first place.)

As you might expect, this new development ratchets the tension between the two co-conspirators even higher. The scrutiny surrounding the death of a Detroit cop is going to be intense enough, but the appearance of an extra corpse is certain to make this whole affair a cluster. And of course, snooty Internal Affairs Det. Simon Boyd (David Costabile), described early in the episode as a "self-righteous, gel-wearing b---h," is determined to spread his scent over every inch of the case. In fact, Boyd and Agnew, who ironically was put in charge of the investigation by his boss, Lt. Dawson (Ruben Santiago-Hudson), get into a pissing match over an issue as simple as whether Boyd may enter McCann's house/crime scene. Boyd makes a cryptic reference to his love of duck hunting as a way of telling Frank he has the patience to wait until he gets what he wants.

Geddes: Bad as He Wants to Be (Ockenfels 3)

Inside McCann's palatial (for a DPD officer) home, the squad finds all the normal accoutrements for a crooked cop: cocaine, booze, wads of cash. (Although anybody who keeps rabbits for pets in a spare bedroom can't be all bad, can he?) But it's a surprising text message Frank finds on one of McCann's throwaway cells that sends his head reeling about Geddes and the murderous act they share.

Elsewhere, crime-boss-in-training Damon (James Ronsone), having just busted into a stash house, shot the lookout dead (I know, I know, but at least in Low Winter Sun a black man was the second person to die) and stolen $200,000 in cocaine from Greektown mob kingpin Alexander Skelos, is rallying his ragtag band punks to expect retaliation and nervously pondering what his next move should be.

Meanwhile, Frank sends Geddes home – ostensibly to get him away from the case for a while, but more likely just to get Geddes out of his sight – and we learn a few disturbing things about ol' Joe. He lives with his mama. He's not above doing a few hits of the white happy dust himself. And, he and Damon appear to know each other quite well.

Boyd's patience does pay off, and he gets to stand in alongside Agnew as the autopsy is performed on McCann. In the process, the medical examiner arrives at some conclusions that test Frank's ability not to squirm in public. The "perfect" crime seems to grow less and less perfect by the minute.

Late in the series pilot, Frank is overwhelmed by the sudden knowledge that Geddes had played him to be the prime mover in McCann's murder. Now, as the full depths of Geddes' corruption are peeling away like the layers of an onion, like Fred MacMurray's classic analogy in Double Indemnity Frank knows he and Joe are stuck together on this death car till the end of the line.

I would be remiss not to mention one beautiful bit of cinematography in this episode. In a flashback scene, as Frank recalls an intimate moment with his beloved Katia, the low winter sun (get it?) glows between their kiss as their lips part. Nice touch, Ernest.

Among the Detroit references in this episode: coneys, Van Dyke Avenue, the Rouge River, the Dream Cruise (although linked to a sexual favor I'm fairly certain isn't a standard part of the weekend experience), the Free Press and, sadly, stripping copper from abandoned houses. Keep that authenticity coming, folks.

Grade: B

(Just in case you didn't get the Double Indemnity analogy.)

Preparing for the Rise of 'Low Winter Sun'

Lennie James (L) and Mark Strong Star in 'Low Winter Sun.' (AMC/Frank Ockenfels)

This Sunday (Aug. 11) at 10 p.m. EST, the next chapter in Detroit's storied television history officially begins. Low Winter Sun, the intense new cop drama that has been filming on the streets of the Motor City for the better part of a year, premieres on AMC. It will occupy the wonderfully cushy time slot following the final episodes of the landmark, Emmy-winning series Breaking Bad, the show it essentially is expected to replace in the eyes and hearts of AMC viewers.

One promo commercial for the new 10-week series describes Detroit as "Broken City." At the moment, it may even be a broke city. But in The New York Times last week, AMC executive vice president Joel Stillerman also describes it as "the most inherently cinematic city in the country, which is both unfortunate and true," and it is that element that may help lift Detroit out of its current perceptual black hole in the national discourse, if only a tiny bit. It is that quality ABC must have sensed when it greenlighted Detroit 1-8-7, the 2010 police series that was canceled after one season, far too soon. There is a horrid yet mesmerizing beauty to Motown, and it surely will be captured within the span of these episodes.

I will be reviewing the debut episode of Low Winter Sun online this week as a blog entry for the Metro Times, where I occasionally write about television, and will link it back here to Big Glowing Box. Subsequent episodes will be recapped and discussed right here.

If you just emerged from your cave on the East Side and have heard nothing of the show, here's the AMC trailer:

And here's virtually everything else you need to know about Low Winter Sun, through a major feature I did on the show for the Metro Times back in March. Mine was the first story of any substance written about the series in America. (Ahem.)

You can read it here.

If you're in the metro Detroit area, you can bet there will be viewing parties a-plenty for the series throughout the area Sunday night – a Hollywood-style screening was staged Monday night in Ann Arbor's Michigan Theater – but here's one of special note. The Baltimore Bar and Grill, a prominent shooting location for the series (albeit under a different name), will host a screening of the show Sunday with music by Detroit blues luminary Jeff Maylin preceding and following the 10 p.m. telecast.

Doors open at 6, music starts at 8 and there is no cover charge. The Baltimore is located at 1234 Randolph Street downtown. Let the Sun rise.

HARDCORE PAWN, Episodes 13 and 14: Well, Hope You Kids Are Happy – Look What You've Done to Your Dad!

True Confession: I just got home from a two-week vacation at a tremendous Christian family camp in West Michigan called Gull Lake Ministries. Our family had a fantastic time – the only drawback being that until we checked in, I completely forgot the camp has no TVs.

Well, that's not completely true. I did locate two sets in the fitness center...locked to receive two stations only!

If watching television is your passion, the absence of 60-inch plasma screens for two weeks could trigger some major-league withdrawal. If you write about television, and have pledged yourself to follow one particularly popular made-in-Detroit reality series every week, not having access to cable TV could mean...well, I don't even want to talk about it.

I thought I'd be so far behind with the goings-on at American Jewelry and Loan by now that I couldn't possibly catch up – especially after what clearly were the pivotal episodes of Hardcore Pawn's entire seventh season.

Imagine my tremendous surprise to return to civilization and find that the season had been on vacation even longer than I was! From the end of Episode 13, which saw Les being rushed from the store in an ambulance while Ashley tenderly held his hand, to the beginning of this week's Episode 14 as Seth and Ashley try to carry on with business as usual, the better part of a month had passed!

Good to See Les Upright Again. (Credit: Turner/Mark Hill)

Talk about a cliffhanger.

Give truTV credit for trying to stretch out the season and milk new episodes of its most popular series for all they're worth, filling the void with reruns. But the gap between new installments this time was so long that producers had time to change the show's open, bumpers and theme music! (Gone, at least for now, is the long, familiar "In the heart of Detroit's 8 Mile" beginning, in favor of a compact open featuring glamour shots of the three principal players.) And if I can't keep track of when fresh shows are airing and I'm committed to knowing, what chance do loyal viewers possibly have?

Thought it was very clever how the first words you hear in Episode 14 are Seth's reflection that "Two weeks ago my dad collapsed inside the store...," setting up the notion that, hey, fans, you haven't missed anything; we've just been away. Even more clever, in my view, was the subtle foreshadowing that led up to Les's collapse in the first place. (Which, according to the storyline, was caused by a hernia that ultimately ruptured while the patriarch was showing up Seth and Ashley by hefting TVs in the warehouse with Bobby J. Though the injury required surgery, it still looked infinitely worse while Les was flat on his back in the store and apparently unconscious.)

At the end of Episode 12, after Les grows so fed up with his bickering brood that he sends both of them home early, he displays the oh-so-slightest wince of pain – so quick you could be looking at the screen and still miss it. A simple stress reaction over having to discipline his adult offspring, perhaps? Then, at least twice in Episode 13, it happens again. We're being set up for a big finish, and a wailing ambulance at the door of AJ&L that Les isn't trying to buy is pretty spectacular.

This two-episode arc is the perfect example of what kids who are blessed with older, wiser parents are frequently warned: When you're continuously arguing, and fighting, and disrespecting your elders and each other, you are slowly killing your parents. I know two teenage girls I'm going to strap into chairs and force to watch these two shows when they come around again in reruns.

Ashley and Seth were arguing violently just prior to Les hitting the floor, and they were shouting just as viciously over Seth's decision to reduce the store's workforce for a day when Les makes his surprise reappearance, walking with the aid of a cane.

"You're not supposed to be back for another week," Seth informs.

"What's the difference why I'm back?" Les snarls, turning to Ashley. "Get out of my chair. And thanks for the flowers."

Lying in a hospital bed, floating above your intense pain thanks to industrial-strength drugs, can give a man time to think about the future, Les announces. And he'll be gosh-darned (rather mild for Hardcore Pawn, granted, but words to that effect) if he'll let the business he spent a lifetime building crash and burn because his kids can't work together, especially since he has no idea when he'll be back at full strength. "I expect much more from the two of you," he says.

So Dad issues a challenge: He'll watch Ashley and Seth work the floor for one day only, and based upon what he sees he'll decide which of them will run the operation while he recuperates. This sounds like the type of competition Les has thrust his young'uns into countless times before, but there seems to be a certain finality – or perhaps, mortality – to the test this time around.

This is one of those rare Hardcore Pawn episodes in which the theme of the show completely overshadows the store's wacky customers. (Come to think of it, there wasn't much lunacy to rant about in Episode 13, either. However, the woman who decided to overcome her fear of flying by plunking her bottom into one of the airplane seats Ashley bought in Episode 10, refused to leave, tumbled to the floor from a phantom shove and claimed assault as Byron showed her the exit, then massaged her bloated breasts once she was outside the store certainly merits a dishonorable mention.)

Neither Ashley nor Seth are what one might call slow to anger, but I think most impartial observers would agree that Ashley is much quicker to let her emotions dictate her interactions with customers. Unfortunately, she let that element of her personality surface during the one-day contest, which is why, at the end of the episode, Les announced to the staff that he decided to turn the reins of American Jewelry and Loan over to....

Seth.

Ashley always feels like she got run over by an ambulance in such situations, and she should: she's the older sibling, and never lets Seth forget that while he was out trying to "find himself," she's been at Daddy's side in the pawn shop since she was old enough to lift a gold necklace, learning the business organically.

But what do you think? Did Les make the right choice by putting Seth in charge?

You know we'll find out soon enough. Maybe as soon as...next week?

HARDCORE PAWN, Episode Twelve: And You'll Go to Bed Without Your Supper, Too!

"In the heart of Detroit's 8 Mile lies the city's biggest and baddest pawn shop...."

I am Michiganian by birth, Detroiter by heart. I spent more than 30 years in the Automotive Capital of Earth, became a man and a professional there, so shows that are set in Detroit or attempt to capture a slice of life in the Motor City are especially dear to me.

Hardcore Pawn is an amazingly successful, largely unsung Detroit TV wonder. Shot inside the now-iconic American Jewelry and Loan on Eight Mile Road, Hardcore Pawn is truTV's most consistently successful series: its season seven premiere last March 26 drew the cable channel's largest audience ever in the coveted demo of adults 18-49. It's basic cable's No. 1 unscripted program in its 9 p.m. (EST) Tuesday time slot, spawned a spinoff series in Hardcore Pawn: Chicago and, if it weren't for the unbelievably whacked-out string of belligerent, ignorant, foulmouthed customers it spotlights, would be a continuing source of pride for Detroiters.

Moreover, I have grown to know series stars Les and Seth Gold and Ashley Gold Broad personally. I've written several stories on the family-owned business, including this feature for HOUR Detroit magazine. I've even patronized the place: the wristwatch I wear every day was purchased at American Jewelry and Loan. So for its lucky seventh season, I've selected Hardcore Pawn as a series to review here on a weekly basis. Here's a recap of Episode Twelve, aired on July 2:

Last week we bemoaned the lackluster quality of Episode 11, which we'll call "Ashley's 'Stay Out of My Deals, Seth – or Else!" show.  I even suggested that last week might have been the disposable, sacrificial-lamb episode used to set the stage for some Big Bang spectacular to follow.

Well, I don't like to brag when I'm right, but I'm so seldom right that please allow me to say: BOY, WAS I RIGHT!

Like the opposite side of the same Gold coin, Episode 12 was everything Episode 11 was not: roundly entertaining, unpredictable and unusually visceral. It featured extremely loud and obnoxious customers (even for Hardcore Pawn), a surprising act of charity and a shocking (does that word get used too often in reality TV?) final act. There actually were "firsts" in this episode, and for a series that's been around seven seasons, that's saying something.

Even the weekly bickering between Ashley and Seth that is the one constant of this series, even though you know it's greatly intensified for the sake of the camera (you do know that, right?), seemed more vehement, more personal – more real – this time around.

The episode touched upon two great ills of our present-day society: the woeful lack of self-esteem among many of today's young women, like the show's first customer who demanded $1,500 for a sack of baseball cards so she could bail her "baby daddy" out of jail, convinced he loves her because she was the first of his many woman he called for money (Dr. Phil should have been in line right behind her); and fears over our economy and soaring gas prices, evidenced by the fellow who wanted to sell his circular saw just for cash to fill up his tank.

Ashley is negotiating each deal and Seth is certain she's in over her head with both, her knowledge of sports memorabilia and power tools not being exactly profound. The first deal blows up when the customer refuses to take less money, eventually mooning security chief Byron after he shows her the door. (Do these people act like this at Walmart, too?) The second, although it appears to progressing smoothly, prompts Seth to jump in and "rescue" it, over Ashley's repeated protests of, "I got this...I got this."

And she believed she did. "I had the saw under control," she screamed, bursting into Seth's office after the deal was completed.

"When have you had anything under control?" Seth mocked, reminding her of two deals from the previous week, for gold and home repair materials, that had their issues.

"I don't need your help!" she steamed. "I need you to stay out of my business! I'm warning you."

Ooooh, a threat. Or foreshadowing, depending on your definition. Les commented that he's sick of watching his offspring bickering like three-year-olds, which may be an insult to three-year-olds everywhere. 

Then came one of the coolest moments in Hardcore Pawn history. A gentleman arrived from a small nonprofit museum in Howell and said he has an "insane" hobby of collecting nautical antiques. He showed Les an 1875 U.S. Lighthouse Service fog signal, a device most of us (including Les) never knew existed. It's a wooden box with a hand crank atop it which, when taken to the farthest point of shore and activated, makes a droning, gawdawful noise. Les made the mistake of asking if it works, and the seller was only too happy to demonstrate – in the middle of the showroom.

Les wants it. Badly. So badly that when the two can't come to terms between the owner's $750 lowest price and Les's $500 counteroffer and the man turned to walk out, Les chased him down before he could reach the door. How about $550, Les proposed.

Instead, the seller made a startling proposal. "I know you have a nonprofit you care about," he said. (Actually Les has a few, including Detroit's Heat and Warmth Fund, or THAW.) "Give me the $750 and I will turn around and donate it to your nonprofit."

'You two – take a hike!' Les demands. (Turner: Mark Hill)

Les, seldom one at a loss for words, is nearly knocked speechless. "He made an offer that even I can't refuse," he marveled.

You'd prefer to leave a tender moment alone, but the good feelings and bonhomie were quickly shattered by an earsplitting, frustrated customer who erupts after claiming she'd waited in line over two hours. Much to Ashley's delight, Seth's calm explanations to the woman appeared to have no effect whatsoever, so Ashley felt obligated to step into this "deal."

This obscene, boorish babe will be remembered for several things: placing the blame on American Jewelry and Loan for not informing her earlier when Ashley discovered she'd been standing in the wrong line for two hours, and loudly clapping her hands in Ashley's face, gospel revival style, while ordering her to "Begone!" as their confrontation heated up. (Ashley retaliated by clapping her hands in the same manner; they nearly had a clapping slap-off.)

But it was the string of insults she spewed as she was led to the exit that will resound for some time. "You're Daddy's Girl, b***h!" she hurled. "Your brother don't even like you, ho!"

And to Les, once she's outside: "That's your daughter?" she charged."You should have slapped that b***h hefore the doctor did when she came out!" Not exactly original material, but inventive for the moment. (And significant, as one of the rare scenes where a customer tacitly acknowledges knowing the Golds from the show. Often customers act as if the Golds are simply pawn shop proprietors they've never seen before, which at this stage of the game in Detroit seems a bit preposterous.)

Ah, but the coup de grace of this episode, which led to a historic first for the show, was yet to come. A customer named Scott came in with an autographed Detroit Tigers baseball from 1970 that he received through an inheritance. He's not from Detroit so the ball has no significance to him, and he needed to sell it to finance a trip to Puerto Rico. Naturally, Ashley handled the transaction. Just as naturally, Seth was certain she'd botch things up.

"What do you know about baseball?' Seth demanded. "A lot," Ashley replied. They commenced offering conflicting prices for the ball, to the point where Scott felt compelled to ask, "Who am I negotiating here with?"

The bidding war then escalated into a vicious argument over how much Ashley knows about baseball, so loud that Les cranked up the antique fog machine he purchased earlier to try and quiet them down!

Scott was told to shut up in the middle of his own deal, and he'd seen enough. "I'll take my business elsewhere," he said, snatching back his baseball. "You two can finish this up on your own time. I thought you were professional and tactful. Evidently I was mistaken."

Ouch! An articulate customer putdown. And Les was livid! He doesn't have many rules, but arguing in public in front of a customer and blowing a deal rank at the top.

"I have never been more embarrassed of my children than I am at this moment!" he bellowed, then did the unimaginable: Les sends both his kids home immediately, warning them not to return until their attitudes improve and their bickering ceases. If they're going to act like children, he will treat them as such! I've never seen that take place before, veteran Hardcore Pawn viewers, have you?

And did you catch the very slight wince of discomfort Les displayed at the end of the episode? A stress-induced attack, perhaps? What a great little moment of setting the stage for next week's show! Let's hope there are no ambulances in the parking lot...not even for sale.

*          *          *

Nothing in these 30 minutes worth upsetting the delicate balance of our Top 5 Most Outrageous Hardcore Pawn Customer Ejections of the season. So they remain the same, and the same is as follows: 

5. The "running naked guy" from Episode Ten who broke a floor lamp on the AJ&L sales floor, then tried to blame security chief Byron for the damage. After Byron responded to his accusation by showing him the door, he vented his outrage by stripping off his clothes and dashing au naturel around the store's parking lot yelling, "I make you horny bitches." A tough act to follow – in more ways than one.

4. The sentimental fool from Episode One who tried to pawn one of his late grandmother's rings in the same breath he mourned her recent death. His verbal and physical assault on Ashley sparked Les's rage, because NOBODY insults his daughter in his store. The confrontation brought Ashley to tears.

3. "DogMan," the tall computer genius with anger management issues in Episode Two who orders Les to retrieve the hard drive from his pawned PC and calls everybody "Dog." "Who let the dog out?" asked Les, who unleashed his first "MF" of the season. "Byron let the dog out!"

 

2. The belligerent, bare-butt bonehead from Episode Seven who pulled items off the shelves as Les looked on, then tried to sell Les's own merchandise back to him. When his scam was revealed, the ballsy burglar was dragged kicking to the exit – and his balls were about the only thing we didn't see as his jeans dropped to his ankles. "Time for your ass to be thrown out," Les ordered. "And what an ass that was."

And the returning champ among the three-fries-short-of-a-Happy-Meal crowd, still leader of the pack at No. 1:

The boy genius from Episode One who came in looking to buy a portable generator and asked, "It doesn't run on electricity, does it?" When he demanded to bring the generator to his home to test it out and was summarily refused, he got the Byron Bounce and ended up humping one of the tall front-door pylons on his way to the parking lot.

Well, he sure showed them something, didn't he?

HARDCORE PAWN, Episode Ten: Big Bets, 'Major Savings' and Naked Guy

"In the heart of Detroit's 8 Mile lies the city's biggest and baddest pawn shop...."

I am Michiganian by birth, Detroiter by heart. I spent more than 30 years in the Automotive Capital of Earth, became a man and a professional there, so shows that are set in Detroit or attempt to capture a slice of life in the Motor City are especially dear to me.

Hardcore Pawn is an amazingly successful, largely unsung Detroit TV wonder. Shot inside the now-iconic American Jewelry and Loan on Eight Mile Road, Hardcore Pawn is truTV's most consistently successful series: its season seven premiere last March 26 drew the cable channel's largest audience ever in the coveted demo of adults 18-49. It's basic cable's No. 1 unscripted program in its 9 p.m. (EST) Tuesday time slot, spawned a spinoff series in Hardcore Pawn: Chicago and, if it weren't for the unbelievably whacked-out string of belligerent, ignorant, foulmouthed customers it spotlights, would be a continuing source of pride for Detroiters.

Moreover, I have grown to know series stars Les and Seth Gold and Ashley Gold Broad personally. I've written several stories on the family-owned business, including this feature for HOUR Detroit magazine. I've even patronized the place: the wristwatch I wear every day was purchased at American Jewelry and Loan. So for its lucky seventh season, I've selected Hardcore Pawn as a series to review here on a weekly basis. Here's a recap of Episode Ten, aired on June 18:

Before we go to this week's episode, first we have BREAKING NEWS: Les Gold tells TMZ that for the right price, he would purchase the poop-filled diapers of Kim Kardashian's baby if he could make a (very) fast turnaround for profit!


Or something like that. You know how TMZ loves to ambush people with stupid questions. Anyway, here's the video, from the TMZ website:

 

The reality that everybody except network TV programmers seems to understand jumped up and bit me in the backside: When you break up a show's string of new episodes with several weeks of reruns, viewers drift away. They forget. They fall out of their routine.

So it was that when truTV interrupted the flow of our favorite pawn-shop series a few weeks, I ended up missing the coverage of a first-run episode or two. Or three. Hey, I got busy. Sorry. So before we take a close look at this week's show, allow me to bring the Hardcore Pawn storyline up to date.

Les strikes a handshake deal with Gary, a watch broker with whom he'd done business before, to walk out the door of American Jewelry and Loan with a $50,000 Breitling wristwatch (negotiated down to $42,500) he was to show to an interested buyer. He left Les with an IOU scrawled on the back of a business card.

Ashley and Seth, to no one's surprise, assault their dad with howls of outrage, but Les uses the deal as a teaching moment: you have to have trust in your fellow businesspeople, he explains. Gary will be back the next day with the money, as he promised, and a high-end item will be off our sales floor.

(Side note: While this is going on, the backwoods witless wonder in Episode Seven who pulled merchandise off the showroom floor, tried to sell it back to Les, then called Les a "bucktoothed, bald-headed m----r f----r" when he wouldn't take the bait, catapulted himself into the pantheon of Top 5 Best Customer Ejections of the Year. See below.)

Of course, Gary becomes the Invisible Man. He's going out of town on business, he'll get back to Les soon, don't worry about the watch or the money. The Critical Kids are giving Dad major league grief. Security chief Byron announces that a big delivery has arrived for Les, who's unavailable, and asks Seth to sign for it.

Why, it's Gary's payment for the watch. Not in cash, but in kind – 40,000 watchbands!

Credit: Mark Hill/Turner

As Seth and Ashley prepare their sharpest insults and scramble to find a dunce cap for Dad, Les remains unbowed: Surveying boxes filled with watchbands stacked two stories high, he reasons that if he sells them all at $2 apiece, he'll walk away with a handsome profit for the Breitling. He becomes obsessed with doing just that and sticking his kids' wisecracks down their throats, going so far as to dress  dependable Bobby J in a sandwich board and have him waving watchbands on Greenfield Avenue.

Ultimately Les resorts to hawking the watchbands out of the box, Old School-style, to American Jewelry and Loan customers inside the store, for $1 each. He makes $40 for his fevered effort and Ashley and Seth are ready to swoop in for the verbal kill, but Les has something up his sleeve besides a watchband – a purchase order from a wholesaler who's agreed to buy 39,500 of them at $1.50 each, more than $20,000 profit! "Ashley and Seth need to learn: DON'T QUESTION THEIR FATHER!" Les pronounces.

By Episode 10 the watchbands have shipped out and things are back to normal at AJ&L – well, as normal as things get, anyway – in one of the most entertaining half-hours of the season.

Fans of the show may be talking about this week about Ashley losing a coin toss to Seth and prancing around the store as an oversized green dollar-bill mascot named "Major Savings." But they DEFINITELY will be jabbering about the scruffy lunatic who knocked over a floor lamp and broke it in plain view of Byron and Bobby J, then not only denied doing it but tried to place the blame on Byron.

After the man refused to pay for the lamp and was shown the front door via Byron's firm hand, he decides that if Byron wants a piece of him, he can have every piece. He tosses off all his clothes and proceeds to run around the parking lot completely naked, shouting "I make you horny bitches!" (whatever that means) and flashing everyone in sight, including Les, Seth and Bobby J who have gathered outside to watch.

"I know Byron is not going to apprehend this guy," Bobby observes. "You just let him go." And so they did, running out of the parking lot and into Hardcore Pawn Season 7 lore.

"I guess he didn't have any money for the lamp," Byron deadpans.

 

Pegasus (tvacres.com)

Ashley sees her chance for revenge on the "dancing dollar" humiliation when Don, a regular customer, walks in with a large metal "Pegasus" symbol, the red flying horse that was the trademark of Mobil Oil for decades in the early 20th century. Don wants $3,000 for the antique; Seth counters with $700. They negotiate. Seth comes up as high as $1,000, but Don eventually takes his flying horse and walks.

Ashley believes that Les always overpays for a vintage item with Detroit connections, and bets Seth $100 that Les would have paid more than $1,000 for Pegasus. "This is a prime opportunity to make Seth look like an idiot," she delights.

She calls Don back to the store. He shows Les the horse. The highest he'll go is $550. Drat! Seth wins again! Five $20 bills, please.

Seth lets Les in on the bet, and Les is perturbed that he wasn't let in on the action. Never takes long for another wagering opportunity to come along at AJ&L, however: A pilot is outside who wants to sell two first-class airline seats – not tickets, but the actual seats themselves. Ashley goes outside to take a look. No way will she make an offer on airplane chairs, Les declares. Seth proposes a new bet: This time, the loser will have to take over Larry the housekeeper's job and vacuum and clean the store.

The pilot seeks $800 for his seats. To Les's shock, Ashley counters with $150. And...she makes the deal!

Les was running his mouth; now he's running a vacuum cleaner, as a relaxing Larry looks on.

"You missed a spot," Larry notes.

*          *          *

Looks like it's "skin to win" when it comes to our ongoing ranking of Top 5 most outrageous Hardcore Pawn ejections of the season. As mentioned above, the belligerent bumpkin from Episode Seven who tried to sell Les stuff that he watched the fool pull off the pawn shop shelves has vaulted onto the list, not necessarily because he had the balls to attempt such a brazen stunt, but because his balls were about the only thing we didn't see when Byron "escorted" him to the exit.

"Time for your ass to be thrown out," Les orders. Literally, as the village idiot's jeans tumbled past his knees. "And what an ass that was," Les notes.

But if he makes the list for his pants falling off, how can we deny Naked Guy from this week's show who bared it all? Well, we can't, and our Top 5 has been thrown into upheaval as a result. The rankings now are as follows:

5. Lamp-breaking Naked Guy from Episode Ten.

4. The sentimental fool from Episode One who tried to pawn one of his late grandmother's rings in the same breath he mourns her recent death. His verbal and physical assault on Ashley sparked Les's rage, because NOBODY insults his daughter in his store. It also brought Ashley to tears.

3. "DogMan," the tall computer genius with anger management issues in Episode Two who orders Les to retrieve the hard drive from his pawned PC and calls everybody "Dog." "Who let the dog out?" asked Les, who unleashed his first "MF" of the season. "Byron let the dog out!"

2. Bare Butt Bonehead from Episode Seven, and,

Continuing its all-season reign at No. 1:

The boy genius from Episode One who came in looking to buy a portable generator and asked, "It doesn't run on electricity, does it?" When he demanded to bring the generator to his home to test it out and is denied, he got the Byron Bounce and ended up humping one of the tall front-door pylons on his way to the parking lot!

Mamas, don't let your sons wind up working the pole.

The Sundance Channel Moves Smartly to 'RECTIFY' Itself

Rectify is a constant process of discovery.

Aden Young Amazes as Ex-Con Daniel Holden.

First you'll discover that this enthralling new semi-series, which bows at 9 p.m. EST Monday, April 22 with two back-to-back episodes, is on the Sundance Channel. You probably have Sundance on your cable system. You probably didn't know it. Or, you just figured the channel was way too elitist-snooty for you. But given that this is the first Sundance-owned original scripted series in its history (and it's really, really good), it's worth some determined channel surfing to find.

Shortly thereafter you'll realize that the six-episode show's premise – prisoner released from Death Row after almost two decades on the basis of new DNA evidence, facing re-entry into a strange and unfamiliar new world – only sounds like the storyline you've seen oh, maybe a kajillion times before. (Wasn't DNA part of the plot in The Shawshank Redemption? Les Misérables? White Heat?) The genius of Rectify is how it takes one of the most well-worn themes in all the dramatic repertoire and makes it feel multilayered, textured – well, remarkably fresh and new.

Part of that is due to the creative team behind Rectify: creator-writer Ray McKinnon, the Southern-fried actor (Sons of Anarchy, Deadwood) and standout independent filmmaker, whose Georgia upbringing allows him to fully translate the rhythms and psyche of his small-town characters; and executive producers Melissa Bernstein and Mark Johnson, the team behind Breaking Bad, looking for another visionary challenge in light of Walter White's impending departure.

The other part of Rectify's aura of originality is due to perhaps its most impressive discovery of all – Aden Young, who will deconstruct any notions you may hold about what a leading man should be. A Toronto-born Australian actor (exactly how does that happen?), Young may be remembered from the movie Killer Elite or the TV miniseries The Starter Wife, but this is unquestionably his breakthrough performance. He is Daniel Holden, the unremarkable Georgia boy convicted of brutally raping and killing his teenage girlfriend, thrust after 19 years back into a world he doesn't understand and never expected to live in again.

One might expect the character in such a script to either race through the streets of his hometown with blood in his eyes, vowing to wreak vengeance on everyone who done him wrong, or grab some drugs and a hooker and disappear into a cheap hotel. Daniel Holden does neither. His every movement and thought is so measured, so controlled, so internal. He has become, as Morgan Freeman's character "Red" Redding explains in Shawshank, "an institutional man," and everything in his bright, loud new world is as confusing as it is frightening. It's a role that easily could be overplayed by a miscast actor, but Young's totally restrained performance lands note-perfect at every turn.

Some celebration: Daniel and his sister-in-law, Tawney.

Daniel doesn't return to his tiny Georgia town to gloat, or even with the determination to begin his life anew. He simply has no place else to go. And the townsfolk, in particular his family, are equally befuddled: they never thought he'd survive Death Row, much less walk among them again. His mother, Janet (J. Smith Cameron), is thrilled, but conflicted; other family members stew over what he might take away from their lives, but his younger sister Amantha (Abigail Spencer, Oz the Great and Powerful, who's outstanding here), believes in Daniel and his innocence wholeheartedly and becomes his translator for modern society.

As Amantha drives him around town to see the sights (both of them), she can't help herself from saying things that seem inappropriate to a man recently released from prison. "That's gallows humor, huh?" she asks. "We call it 'lethal injection' humor," Daniel responds. "It's more humane...but not as funny."

What's really not funny is the angry throng of powerful men, led by Sen. Roland Foulkes (Michael O'Neill), formerly the prosecutor who put Daniel away, who are obsessed with throwing him behind bars again. And for the touch of class any potentially successful series needs, Hal Holbrook provides the opposition to the anti-Daniel forces as his original defense attorney, Rutherford Gaines.

Rarely does such a simple story encompass so many intriguing subplots. Will Daniel's own family turn against him? Will Foulkes and his law-enforcement cronies find a way to reverse the technicality that set him free? Can he return to the family business? Will some good ol' boy try to kill him? And, not coincidentally, did he do the crime?

Daniel Holden has a lot of dangerous waters to navigate, and I think I'm going to enjoy taking the journey with him. On our Big Glowing Box scale of 1-10 remotes, I'm giving Rectify a 9. Seeing an old tale told an interestingly new way in the copycat world of television is praiseworthy all by itself. But in this era when it seems every drama wants you to embrace the antihero, Aden Young is worth discovering as well.

HARDCORE PAWN Four: Happy 100th, Les! (Episodes, That Is!)

"In the heart of Detroit's 8 Mile lies the city's biggest and baddest pawn shop...."

I am Michiganian by birth, Detroiter by heart. I spent more than 30 years in the Automotive Capital of Earth, became a man and a professional there, so shows that are set in Detroit or attempt to capture a slice of life in the Motor City are especially dear to me.

Hardcore Pawn is an amazingly successful, largely unsung Detroit TV gem. Shot inside the now-iconic American Jewelry and Loan on Eight Mile Road, Hardcore Pawn is truTV's most consistently successful series: its season seven premiere last March 26 drew the cable channel's largest audience ever in the coveted demo of adults 18-49. It's basic cable's No. 1 unscripted program in its 9 p.m. (EST) Tuesday time slot, spawned a spinoff series in Hardcore Pawn: Chicago and, if it weren't for the unbelievably whacked-out string of belligerent, ignorant, foulmouthed customers it spotlights, would be a continuing source of pride for Detroiters.

Moreover, I have grown to know series stars Les and Seth Gold and Ashley Gold Broad personally. I've written several stories on the family-owned business, including this feature for HOUR Detroit magazine. I've even patronized the place: the wristwatch I wear every day was purchased at American Jewelry and Loan. So for its lucky seventh season, I selected Hardcore Pawn as a series to review here on a weekly basis. Here's a recap of Episode Four, the show's landmark 100th episode, aired April 16:

When I made reference to a glowingly positive feature on Hardcore Pawn last week in Variety magazine in connection with the series' milestone 100th episode, I was fascinated – but by no means surprised – by the tone of the messages I received in return.

The responses from folks who live in Detroit or have Motor City ties were stingingly consistent. They said, in effect, "I hate that flipping show, because it always portrays our city in such a negative manner."

I'd be the first one to agree that Hardcore Pawn may not be the Convention & Visitors Bureau's first choice for a promo reel extolling the wonders of Detroit. But I've enjoyed the series from its one-shot, do-or-die pilot telecast in 2009 to its official debut in August 2010 right up through Tuesday's historic episode, and you'd hard-pressed to find a bigger Detroit zealot than I am.

While I don't want to come off sounding like an HP apologist  – especially because the show certainly doesn't need one – I invite all naysayers to keep a few facts in mind:

• More than 3 million people, a pretty massive number for basic cable, routinely tune in to watch Hardcore Pawn every Tuesday at 9 p.m. EST, so there are viewers who find the program worthwhile.

• Television is one of America's purest forms of democracy. If Americans had cast their vote against the show simply by not watching it (you know, like they do with NBC series), it wouldn't have survived the first season.

• Many viewers have told me they enjoy Hardcore Pawn primarily not because of its stream of profanity, customer hijinks or bum's-rush store ejections, but because it presents a real family trying to operate a real business under challenging circumstances. It shows a father and his two offspring who clearly love each other despite all the bickering and disagreements. People relate to the Golds: They may have a dad like Les, or recognize relatives or friends in Ashley and Seth.

• It's a pawn shop: one would reasonably expect some, if not most, of its clientele to be a bit on the crude and irritable side. I mean, in theory nobody really wants to be there, right? Whenever they decide to do a reality show at the Detroit Athletic Club, expect the ambiance to be decidedly different. I think.

• Whether we like to admit it or not, Hardcore Pawn is a slice of Detroit in all its crass and untamed glory. Remembering a time my neighbor on the East Side bolted out of his front door, raced over to stand nose to nose, and threatened to punch or cut me because I had taken his on-street parking space, I'm not certain the show's confrontations are always trumped-up. HP might not be the Detroit reality from Bloomfield Hills or Rochester, but it's the reality in some parts of the region.

• And, believe it or not, Hardcore Pawn is an asset to the visitor's bureau. The show's establishing shots frequently show views of a glistening riverfront or attractive city landscapes. And I personally have met people who traveled to Detroit from as far away as Florida and Washington state just to see American Jewelry and Loan for themselves and maybe try to sell an item. It's become a tourist attraction! It's good for the local economy!

All that being said, the 100th episode – arriving after the hype of promo commercials that promised "100 times more (fill in the blank)," was a disappointment. The theme centered around an employee who devised his own side hustle to sell customers front-of-the-line privileges for a $3 tip at the door – causing havoc inside the store – and Ashley employing her detective skills to identify the culprit after Les and Seth walked away from the problem. But the concept seemed disjointed and slowly paced; the line-cutting didn't seem to spark the kind of wild-eyed outrage one might expect knowing American's typical customer base.

The family conflict, on the heels of the store's head of security being fired for theft and the resulting, who-can-we-trust employee searches that triggered a mass walkout in earlier episodes, was whether to fire Anton, the enterprising worker who dreamed up the tip-jar scam. In the end, compassion came from a most unexpected source.

The highlight of the half-hour was the appearance of an immaculately restored, 1947 replica of a green Vernor's ginger ale delivery truck that Les should have bought at any price (Vernor's is a symbol of Detroit, and the truck was sweet). But the laugh-out-loud moment occurred when a customer tried to sell his "I-Grow Laser Hair Growth System" – essentially, a heat lamp inside a goofy-looking silver helmet with suction cups and headphones – and Bobby, American Jewelry and Loan's follically-challenged employee, volunteered to try it on.

The device caused the top of Bobby's round dome to glow neon red.

"You look like a Christmas tree," Les observed.

"I look like a (bleep)," Bobby replied.

The kicker: the seller himself was bald. "Well, I didn't use the thing," he maintained. "I'm very happy being bald."

Now the impressive milestone has passed, the 100th episode is over and out. (Which means, by the way, that we may see Hardcore Pawn in reruns for the rest of our natural lives.) Mazel tov. Let's hope for a rebound on Episode 101.

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With no outrageous customer ejections in this episode (another glaring absence), the Top 5 American Jewelry and Loan store tossouts from last week remain unchanged. They are:

5. Josh, the Dallas doofus from Episode Three who demanded $500 for his worthless watch.

4. Patrick, the demented drum dealer from Up North, also in Episode Three, who declared, "Everybody knows Ashley from American Jewelry and Loan is a bitch!" Security chief Byron showed Patrick the door so quickly, Ashley had to chase him down in the parking lot to return his "antique" African drum.

3. The sentimental fool from Episode One who tried to pawn one of his late grandmother's rings in the same breath he mourns her recent death. His verbal and physical assault on Ashley sparked Les's rage, because NOBODY insults his daughter in his store. It also brought Ashley to tears.

2. "DogMan," the tall computer genius with anger management issues in Episode Two who orders Les to retrieve the hard drive from his pawned PC and calls everybody "Dog." "Who let the dog out?" asked Les, who unleashed his first "MF" of the season. "Byron let the dog out!"

And, still reigning at No. 1:

The boy genius from Episode One who came in looking to buy a portable generator and asked, "It doesn't run on electricity, does it?" When he demanded to bring the generator to his home to test it out and is denied, he got the Byron Bounce and ended up humping one of the tall front-door pylons on his way to the parking lot!


That fool had issues.